Women love to talk and they love to be listened to. For most women, if you don’t engage her mind you won’t have much luck engaging her body. Men and women are very different here. To learn how to engage her mind you must learn how to talk to women. I’m going to try to give you a few tips and hints.
When you first approach a woman to talk to her, do not use some cheesy pick up line. That might work on the rare occasion, but for most women it tells her you lack originality and you are a lazy conversationalist. Because women love conversation she won’t give you much consideration if you lack originality.
Learn her name. Preferably learn her name before you even give her yours. Walk up to her and say “hi, what’s your name?” Now this may seem to lack originality but it shows the woman that you are interested in knowing at least something about her. When she gives you her name say “hi, ‘so and so’, my name is ‘such and such’. It’s nice to meet you.” Now you’ve done two things her. You’ve shown her you’re interested in her and you’ve used her name. Every woman loves it when a man will use her name. So don’t stop there. Throughout the conversation use her name. Not too much. But three or four times, spread out. This demonstrates that you are giving her your attention. You learned her name and you are using it. She’s less likely to have to worry about you using the wrong name at an inappropriate moment.
Now that the names are out of the way, just what do you talk about? Well, you must find out what engages her. This means asking her questions. But do not throw 100 questions at her in rapid order. Do not have a checklist of questions and simply throw them out until you have gotten through them all. Start with something simple, some trending news item, or something about the environment around you. If you’re at a really busy bar you could comment on that. Then listen, and I mean listen to her answer. If she says something like, “ya, I love the energy of busy places” and your next response is “lets go somewhere quiet,” you’ve blown it. It shows her that you didn’t listen. If you instead reply with something like “I don’t mind busy places once in a while, but I find they can be draining” (if that’s the way you feel) then you’ve shown her that you listened and that you share a bit of the same feelings about things, or try saying something like “what is it about busy places that gives you energy?” By repeating back what she’s said she will feel like you are listening to her and actually care about her opinions.
You’ve started the conversation, but where do you go from here? I mean, really, you can only talk about a busy place for so long. Now is when you can ask her what she does for a living. Listen to her answer and expand on it. If she says she’s a doctor ask her what she likes best about that job. Ask her to share an interesting moment on the job. It doesn’t matter what she does for a living you can engage her in conversation about her job by finding out more about what she does. If she’s in customer service, ask her what kinds of customers she enjoys dealing with. Ask her to share a funny story about a customer. If you want to talk to a woman with any success, you must show interest in her life.
When she starts asking about you, answer her. Give her genuine information, but don’t ramble on. Don’t be negative. This is not an invitation to start complaining about your ex, your boss, your job or your kids. This is an opportunity to show her that you are a well rounded man. A man who can engage her and keep her interest. Women do not like to be bored and a man with only one topic of conversation will bore a woman to tears. If you’re big into gaming and that’s all you can talk about, unless you’re lucky enough to find a woman as big into gaming as you are, she will grow bored quickly. So have a few hobbies and interests. Maybe read a book or two. Keep up on the news, current events and trending issues. Women love gossip, so know your entertainers and what they are up to. Yes, it’s work. Yes, you may find it boring, but if you really want to learn how to talk to a woman you need to be current on the issues that most women follow.
A short list of do’s and don’ts:
1. Do ask her name first
2. Do use her name in the conversation
3. Do ask about her, her job, her interests
4. Don’t forget her name
5. Don’t ramble on about yourself, especially in negatives
6. Don’t bore her with one single topic
7. Do check the trending issues and current events. Have at least a knowledge of who is in the news
8. Do ask open ended questions.
9. Don’t be pushy, if she doesn’t want to talk about something don’t push the issue
10. Do be positive, charming and funny. Women love to laugh as much as men do.
So engage a woman’s mind and you will have a chance at engaging her body. It really is that simple. For women, the attraction starts in the brain. If you can’t engage her mind you won’t engage her body. So by following the hints outlined above you will learn how to talk to women.